Thursday, April 1, 2010


I wrote this a long time ago but hopefully you still like it(whoever you are that still loves me so much to still read my blog after such disappearance )
ok we cannot but agree Jos has been etched on the nigerian entertainment map!Kevin a j boy just achieved a feat yoruba(Bayo) Igbo(ifunneka) et al couldn't do.Nigeria so deserved it the last time but we thank God now 'Jos'tice has been served.There seems to be something about that place.Psquare was exported to Lagos but we took no notice.M.I came and then we began to notice.Sage who is from Minna spent a good chunk of years in Jos.So did Toni Kan,Helon Habila e.t.c(who are award winning writers).A friend of mine who did not follow the first amstel malta street dance competition told me he didnt care what dance teams were in the competition,they couldnt match a group(soul quest) he knew.Alas,soul quest was in the competition and they won and guess what?They are from Jos!
Jos is the new cool.'Jos' now sounds and feels like Lagos.Do you know how many southwest vagabonds are claiming Lagos?Its cool to claim Jos nativity now.'Hi my name is Chibuzor,I'm from Jos!' 'Really?Nice to meet you.My name is Laide I'm also from Jos!'.Anything 'jos' now is cool.Jostina,Joshua,Jostice,Jostin e.t.c. On the night of Kevin's victory,one of our dearest female rappers said on twitter there must be something about Jos.She said she was looking for a Jos boyfriend!Gbam!It was so crazy everyone was tweeting ang googling Jos boy and girlfriends.And that's so good for my ego cos I'm already dating a Jos chic who coincidentally won the award for the most entertaining filmmaker in a movie production institution.Maybe the god of entertainment is in that plateau rock.Maybe Michael Jackson's ancestors where from Jos.Who knows?
Have you been trying to get Ekaette and it's not working?Just tell her you are from Jos and the magic the name 'Kings College' used to have on chics would be evoked! So go out there and add 'Jos' to your data... Have you been denied visa to somalia?Just change your name from 'jeffery' to 'josferry' you would be surprised what the name Jos can do.Even the name 'Jesus' has the sound of 'Jos' buried somewhere in it!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


This piece is a bit late for publishing.Anyways enjoy it!
Sign in your facebook account,search for ‘wellsbaba’,send me a friend request and if you look like a mutallab I’ll accept your request.Obviously you are rich and lonely.Go to my profile description and you’ll find a sentence that says something like ‘viewing the world through my feragamo shades,I see the world in a different color’.Simply put,I’m so objective I’ll take a job to advocate for the devil.
Mutallab has just done what tourism,sports and Nollywood could not do for Nigeria.Even the mult-billion naira driven ‘rebrand Nigeria’ campaign cannot match this.Mutallab just put Nigeria on the WORLD scene again.We are now on the WATCH list of the US govt. and on the ‘watch’ of the world.Bad press,good press,it is press!Controversy,scandal,it is publicity!North Korea is infamous for its nuclear progams.China,wanton abuse of human rights.Russia,super-nigerian corruption.Italy,ultra-PDP Mafia.Just a little digression,do you think Nigerians run organized crime as big and successful as the mafia’s which is definitely worth billions of dollars?Why do we get to look like the bad guys?Just a lil brain teezer…..
Germany has successfully managed and used to her advantage the stigma of Hitler and the holocaust.Statistics show that the percentage of internet crimes committed by Americans multiplies that of Nigerians yet Nigeria is made the black sheep while the US gets grants and support from silicon valley and technology giants and also get to employ the best hackers.Yemen gets multi-million dollar grants from US because it is a haven of terrorists.The irony of life!Dora and Maduekwe can turn this to a grant advantage for us if they really know what they are doing.
Nigerians in our usual fashion have started talking.We are the ones that always know. ‘AH!Okocha should have cut the ball before shooting the ball’ ‘Odewingie can’t play.My son would score that ball’ Always coaches never players.We’ve named mutallab synonymous for anything rich and stupid. ‘Breeze,don’t be such a mutallab!’ ‘How can you call laide a mutallab?Is she rich?Mscheew’.Anyways,back to the subject,Mutallab.I just think he is a victim of opportunistic false teaching.A young boy who was trying to stay pure(unlike many of us,you know yourselves…you!Yes you! Oloju wonko wonko) in this sexually immoral world who was taken advantage of and lured into an anti-western radical movement.At times when I see, Lil Kim at events or some music videos or some girls at Yaba or gay marriages in American CHURCHES,I don’t blame Osama and his boys for their actions.
Guys lets be candid,how many of us stands a chance looked in a room with a couple of the world’s best orators and psychologists who probably graduated from MIT or Harvardpromising you a better tomorrow filled with Beyounce looking bags of pleasure with bottoms that swallow g-strings and they can clap.Boobies so comfortable you don’t need Mouka foam?40 of them!Mutallab must have been thinking ‘Hefner of playboy mansion has nothing on me now’
About the US labeling Nigeria a ‘terrorist state’ I think they did the right thing.Nigeria might not have a proven link with Al queda but we do have terrorists! The Boko Haram debacle revealed the militia had sponsors,training camps(Jesus! Training camps!) and weapons to rebel against the Government!What else is terrorism?No one knew this was going on in here.Lets not continue to live in a fools paradise and open our eyes to the truth,the fact that there have been a myriad of sponsored religious crisis since the 1970s when it began with ‘maitatsine’.A radical Islamic group that believed its leader was the last prophet who was to lock the door of heaven.Hence anyone who died after him would not enter heaven since the door would have been locked.So,these group whenever they fought the Nigerian army that was sent out to stamp them,they threw themselves in front of bullets and bombs.They had to get to heaven before their leader.It was bloody!The army had to stop fighting them and went only after the leader.When the leader was killed,he was displayed publicly.To his followers,heaven had been locked.There was no need to die senselessly again.Pathetic!
Nigeria has been showing too many signs of instability,radicalism and religious fundamentalism.Not only the muslims,what of Rev King?Where is he?

Btw,if you 'follow' my blog i promise to upload regularly.I love blogging but its such a chore going round to comment on all of your blogs!But if my followership increases i definitely would be encouraged to update more.Thankyou blogville....