Wednesday, September 24, 2008


I'm really sorry its taken me over a week to update plus I've not even commented on most of your blogs though I've read them.Its still because of my connection palava jare.Mz.dee,I must finally acknowledge you o(after 2weeks?),she gave me award o and me I'm also giving out the honesty award not in any particular order......

I'm not really following the rules please pardon me.Anywais,do you remember the ebony skinned chic and johnny bravo?I pondered within myself if I'm really scared of JB or intimidated by the girls,so I settled that by walking up to the girl(Gist later) For now,I giving out short stories and I hope you enjoy them.....
"Segun.So when am I seeing you again?"With a sorrow choked tone,Victoria asked her husband a question she knew correctly the answers to.She just wished his reply would cheer her up this time around.Segun,a top marketing executive with etisalat the new GSM company that just rolled out.For the past 12 months,he has been with his family for a total of 22days having travelled all over the country leading the marketing campaign.Segun,a go getter,natural salesman(he could sell a rayban sunshades to ray charles)a synonym of success,had the target of reaching 5 million subscriber base for etsalat in the next month.Victoria on the other hand was a beautiful loving wife in her early thirties with two kids,a set of twins(a boy and a girl).She was a chorister at church who held a top spot at an advertising agency.Due to her husbands absense,shes had the gruelling task of being both father and mother.The scolder and pamperer of the kids.The disciplinary agent and the spoiler.she woke up 6am,readied the kids for school and prepared for work,drop the kids,off to work,at lunch shes gone to pick the kids at school with the driver,back to office,leave at 5pm,head to an eatery for lunch then straight home,help the kids with their assignments,go to church if there is any meeting that concerns her(if not they watch TV) then sleep by 9pm.This was what her easiest schedule was like.she had to draw energies from her body,spirit and soul to last this long.........
"Segun,I'm talking to you" but segun,engulfed,ransacking his room for his diamond studded cartier and couple of files vaguely noticed her presence let alone give her a reply.............
His silence punched her,she was dejected,her head dropped down in dismay and shoulders shrunk but being the good wife she was,Victoria reasoned her husband was almost late for his flight and needed to pack up real quick.She encouraged herself,letout a loud sigh to release some of the desperation and started towards the guestroom where she knew the exquisite cartier was.With a hand stretched out and a forced smile "here is your treasure" "No,my queen,you are my treasure"Segun interrupted.He drew close and followed up with a quick kiss to her forehead which felt rather mechanical than passionate.Instantly,hesitatingly,Victoria slipped her hands round the ignorantly insensitive male and leaned her sized 36 essence on his bear chest in a desperate attempt to capture his wondering attention.She succeeded.Atleast,he stood still for once and looked her in the eye.She searched for the words to convey her desperation but english grammar failed her.She is a full grown woman with needs,She has feelings,she needs to be touched and pampered.She didn't know how best to say it to him.She was tearing apart inside,crashing and tumbling within,she was thrown in hysteria.She squeezed him and like a dying King,she uttered powerful words in a frail tone.
"Segun,you are looking at me but not seeing me.You are hearing me but not listening to me.You are touching me but not feeling me.I'm here,you are there,my love,I'm lonely"The power of a woman.Those words stopped him more than Hancock could stop any fast moving train.
Those words tore through his strength in to his soul.The dripping of her tears sliced his heart but he only could feel the fret and desperation that culminated to those words AND NOT comprehend those words.He was confused.What was she talking about?To the best of his ability he'd been a great husband.He'd always loved her,made sure she and the twins lacked nothing,even bought her a range rover sport on her birthday.True,he usually is not around but he calls her everyday!At every idle minute he rings his other half.HE could feel the helplessness of his wife but didn't know what to do.He was sad she was sad.He tried to ponder but his mind was foggy.Slowly,segun's hands curled round the sobbing queen."It'll be alright" he muttered though he had no clue as to what really the problem was.Victoria was buried in Segun's tight yet comforting embrace,together they stood as one......................................................................................
After bout a silence of 5seconds which seemed more like eternal bliss for Victoria.......
"Don't go"She said,as she was too afraid to say the whole sentence let alone tell him to resign which was what she really wanted to say."Don't go where?" Segun quizzed."Don't go to work"Victoria said angrily.Segun disengaged,stepped back and put his hands on her shoulder.Peering at her,he said"I know you are sad I"m leaving again but I've to work to earn money to sustain and give you and the kids a satisfying future"Victoria knew it was futile.She knew she couldn't just convince him to resign just like that except she had jazz or "touch and follow"ButSegunthetrailblazzerachieverambitiouslovingfaithfulyetinsensitiveunconciousegoistic
Victoria was too buried in her sorrows she did not even hear the words escaping Segun's lips which she only saw moving.She was right there but not there.....
"Koun koun koun"There was a knock on the door.Segun opened the door of his heated room,DEmola was on the otherside of the door.Demola was a fair,interesting and pious 24year old who was their church member.He had a bosom relationship with the family and helped Victoria do alot of running arounds since Segun usually wasn't around to do them.Part of the family's kinematics depended on him.The twins were adorable,Demola loved them.He once used money meant for his Girlfriend's valentine gift to but toys for the twins.
"What are you still doing?You will miss your flight o"Demola barked.Segun dressed up and took the his stuffs."I've to go now,we'll continue when i get back.Please."Segun said to his absent wife.
An hour later,Demola drops Segun at the airport but before he goes"Demola,I got you this TAG watch,hope you like it" "Hey,thanx""By,the way when I arrive Kano I'll send some money to you so you can parol small with your chic""Correct,You are the man!""I've to run now,take care of my chrysler o,you know I love it!"........................
Hope you enjoyed your read o,it continues in the my next post.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008


Hahaha…LOL…You wondering why I’m laughing?I really didn’t have anything to post so I just wanted to put random sturvs but I didn’t want to use “random sturvs” as the title of this post so I decided to use Key points.Key points?!Like fuel and fire the word ignited thoughts within me.There was something about the word.My cerulyum oblongata(shey I get d spelling?) began to trace memory lane then I remembered!Key points…..The mini textbook that was based on all subjects,so compact it could be sneaked into the examination hall with relative ease.Secondary school student’s best friend.The very present help in time of need.The father of expo,chips,eegun et al(examination malpractice)

Before the prevalence of corruption in the Nigerian secondary education system,very few students saw questions before the exam was written but now the reverse is the case on a kentro level…lol.Before,it was JAMB that was “jamming” students but now students don ves.JAMB has been successfully “conquered” by students malpractice schemes it is nolonger reckoned with.I met a girl who scored 277 in JAMB wanted to study medicine but did not know characteristics of living things(MR NIGER D!) Tertiary institutions now set their own admission exams.Back to key points jare,before all this key point was there.Students en masse relied on it for survival in exams but funny enough I NEVER cheated back then.If I didn’t know the answer to a question I would not ask and not copy someone else’s work.Not that I was being religious and ish but it is just my default setting(too much of soccer video games…lol)baba God set me like that not to disturb anybody during exams but if someone asked for help I would assist.It was kinda weird and I didn’t stop till I got to UNILAG.Wen my G.P dey stagger and I saw a lil neck elongation,neck twisting,voltron formation with me in the centre(this always works,exschoolnerd tell them) ma G.P go fit survive….lol,no blame me.It’s not easy to study mathematics.

Ehn ehn remember I said this post is random sturvs?Lemme start rambling.I thank you guys for your comments on the last post plus I got a single line sentence that calmed my disturbing thoughts “Life is not fair but God is good!”

Hausa is officially the most widely spoken language in west Africa!

I discovered the true identity of a blogger and I wasn’t even stalking oo…Kai,what would happen if I start stalking….lol

I’ve not done my blog rounds and updated in days cos my connection is gone plus I can’t browse on ma fone too cos it feel,smashed and broke in 2halves(flip fones ain’t ma thingy) I feel so stranded.ARghhhh!!!

There’s this chic who is feeling me and trying to get my attention but I’ve got no love lost for girls under 18 plus I hate child abuse A LOT!

But theres this chic me I’m feeling…lol.Being seeing her around,ebony skinned,cute eyes,smashing dress sense,shaped like a coke bottle and the whole nine yards but she’s often in the company of this dude that is the combination of a house boy and Jonny Bravo.Big chest(you need to see this borad chest,d guy def gyms)walks gallantly,thing legs,fading clothes,razz accent,looks unattractive e.t.c.I don’t mean to sound conceited but I hope you get my drift.The connection between this two beats me.I’d have sworn the guy is not her boyfriend but attimes you girls can be funny.So me I dey fear to walk up to the girl make JB no go blow my jaw commot(lol) but the girl’s countenance tells me “catch me if u can!”Well me I already know what I’m gonna do in my mind…..

On Sunday I visited my aunt.So we watched a movie and her daughter(16yrs I think) was present.There was a sex scene,the actors kissed and smooched then the actress started grinding on the guy as he sat,MAD GRIND! I could see uneasiness written in the air then I looked at my aunt,she looked at her daughter but the daughter pretended not to notice her.I my ribs were cracking withing.Then the actress knelt before the dude,unzipped the dude and wanted to “speak to the mic” my aunt shouted at her daughter “will you change that dial!” I was ROTFLMAO in my mind,I couldn’t hold it no more I let out a crack in split seconds.Kai,its always funny and awkward when we watch sex scenes with our parents…..Omo,this rambling don dey long b dat o,atleast I don update...

Tuesday, September 9, 2008


Life,you chose me
I didn't choose you
You are not fair.

You gave me struggles
but you made him a prince
Is this fair?

I dream of fortunes
but his lot is fortunes
This is not fair!

Yet you teach me
All men are equal
You say u are fair.

But my palm are callouse from labour
But my soul breaksdown under sufferings
Life,teach me your fairness!

I woke up this morning on a reflective note.Truly blogville has been my venting spot and helps me ease emotional stress and all the drama in my head.This poem flowed out of my heart as questions I ask baba God this morning(then I realised its a poem)My friends I've seen alot in my lifetime,I know loads of peeps say this BUT I really mean I've seen alot in my lifetime.Lost ma pop at 10(1995),my family became a victim of "tradition",loads of ma pops properties was taken away from mom,the only house that they couldn't take from us which we lived in suddenly went up in smokes one unsuspecting afternoon(with no one at home and no nepa light,so err1 is asking till today,ow d 4k did it happen?now we live in rented apartment) I once died but God brought me back!I've been shot,drowned,almost assasinated(all because of popsie's stuff o cos I'm the firstborn) My dear I really cannot begin to throwdown all the drama and even if you meet me you'd never think I have gone throught all this cos I'm a jolly good fellow and love to laugh......I'm asking you,is life really fair?I still have to appreciate baba God o atleast me I still have the grace for "pursuit of happiness" but what of those born in darfur,liberia(all those war torn regions?)they die mercilessly not as a fault of their own but.....I don't know jare I'm just rambling in incoherent thoughts......Anywais,thankyou God!

Thursday, September 4, 2008


I'm officially announcing that I'm addicted to blogville!I woke up this morning with blogville on my mind.I pick up my bible to observe bible study but my mind is drawing to charizard.I'm reading about immaculate mary,the mother of Jesus but I'm thinking of Afrobabe(LMAO,wat a contrast!) I give up on bible studyand tried closing my eyes to pray but I'm seeing Mz.dee smiling in a vision(this is no blogcrush alert o,lol!) I fought relentlessly to concerntrate on my tasks for the day but thoughts of blogville kept on flooding my heart.Finally,I succumb,neglect all i've to do,come online,plunged in to blogville and now its 2pm in the afternoon I haven't acheived anything today and I'm yet to leave blogville.
Kai!You guys are fabulous,I've found a home away from home in here ironically you guys are putting me in trouble.Some peeps think I'm going psycho and I need to visit yaba left(psychiatric home) before I totally loose it cos attimes I sit(n I knw most of us do) and imagine what meeting princesa would be like often I try to phantom the wonderment called exschoolnerd.I burst in brief laughter,people turn and ask me whats amusing me but I reply "nothing".Somebori even gave me an unsolicited description of the location of yaba left!(can u imagine?) I once asked myself "and this exschoolnerd is a human being o?" "with one head"lol.Enough mind boggling characters camp here in blogville,where do I start and stop?Is it the vivacious ladyguide or the ice cool aloofar?Is it the kolomental Afrobabe or the simple Sting?The list is infinite,you guys are so alive(you guys rock!) I wouldn't be surprised the script writer for only Joker(dark knight) is from blogville.......
Some of us are so addicted to blogville,after work and family blogville takes d rest of our time,ah ok sorry,after work,family and sex blogville takes our time(badderchic thanks for correcting me)I've been online for hours swiming the deep waters called blogville,I never knew we were this big,I'm discovering new blogs and seeking"opporunities for aggressive expansion(anoda line frm d dark knight,I'm so full of d There is a troubling discovery though as I "swim" and it's the fact that the number of female bloggers quadriples the male's but d koko is there are loads of responsible baby mamas and married women talking bout there home,sexuality,women talk(it sorta gives me d creep thou,lol) and constructive stuffs generally but I can't find any married man blog bout his baby girl,job,investment or men talk(lol) So I'm thinking "is it that there is something with women and blogging?"(I pray not) abi blogging is for females(lol) that would mean we the few males here are sissies since we shouldn't be blogging(lol,chari try confirm if you still be man o,make sure ur kini still works o,lol)
Finally,I've been elevated and let in a higher and inner circle of blogville so I get to hear all the inner gist and "aproko",lol but the truth is that if you just let go of your anonymity and reveal true identity nobody would gossip bout you again cos nobody gossips bout facts!
PS: I anounce with great regret I'll not be at the reunion....chari,princesa,XSN,my sista e.t.c
"I'm so so sorry"2ce
"I didnt mean to break your heart"2ce
"I'm a heartbreaker"2ce

Tuesday, September 2, 2008


Mz.dee's recent post on "demonic friendship" plus the combination of previous posts from other bloggers on blogville revealed to me our ignorance or sceptimism(I'm not sure which)on the subject of witchcraft.Since on blogville we are here to interract,have fun and learn I thought it would not be a bad idea to educate us a lil on this matter.It's a sorta weird subject to illuminate but hey dont think I'm a weirdo or something plus my pop aint gandolf(Lord of the rings) and my sexymama aint a classmate of harry porter but I just want to draw some facts from the bible and present it to you with flawless logic.
1st thing I'd like to say is I think civilization,technological advancement,developments e.t.c have cast a dark shadow on the undisputable truth about the reality of darkpowers!Before the advent of the missionaries our fathers were ruled by dark powers that demanded worship(attimes asking for the blood of young virgins) plus when our ancestors fell ill their doctors were babalawos(herbalist) who would treat them using herbs and incatations and our ancestors did recover.Infact during my yoruba class in KC my teacher said witches were the doctors.They were the ones who had the diabolical powers to discern which herb to use to which ailness.This history establishes the existence of dark powers and their POTENCY!Then came the missionaries with their first aid box,medical suplies,schools,civilization and most importantly a new religion-christianity! I'm not a member of MFM but I resent it when people make fun of "DELIVERANCE".It can simple be defined as the removal of a demon from a place,person or thing in other to make that place,person or thing clean.The missionaries were the first to conduct deliverance because by introducing us to christianity and we accepting Jesus we were delivered from the idols and demons we worshipped and became children of God.
Well for those abroad I don't really know how familiar you guys are to these things but for us here in 9ja we see these dark powers at work errday!We heard of OPC members using eggs as bombs,we heard of bakkassi boys being shot and yet the bullet did not penetrate,we hear of ritual killings for blood money almost everyday and ofcos we know its not the power of God that empowers these people.The fact I'm trying to establish is that these powers are real and around us.
Finally,baba God in his infinite knowledge and wisdom told us in his word about witches,wizards,soccerrers,marine powers e.t.c so even if we doubt man lets not doubt God plus we believe in angels and the power of God,why do we find it hard to believe in demons and by the way if you think they don't have power try to read Job chapter 1 and 2 so you know how satan wiped out all he had in a day(lets not 4get he was the wealthiest in the whole of the east,so you can imagine his flock!)But we thankGod for giving us a greater power!Anywais,having said this,you the panel of judges,acurate time keeper and my fellow bloggers and viewers at home I hope I have been able to convince you and not confuse you that witches a.k.a airforce1 do exist!

PS:By the way if in any way you don't dream or you don't remember your dreams or you are alwais having sex with this particular person in your dream or you alwais find yourself in your former school,work,house in your dream or you fall from heights in your dream or you alwais misplace things in your dream or thieves or police stop you in your dream then I think you should visit the nearest MFM branch near you for deliverance......