Tuesday, September 16, 2008

KEY POINTS.....

Hahaha…LOL…You wondering why I’m laughing?I really didn’t have anything to post so I just wanted to put random sturvs but I didn’t want to use “random sturvs” as the title of this post so I decided to use Key points.Key points?!Like fuel and fire the word ignited thoughts within me.There was something about the word.My cerulyum oblongata(shey I get d spelling?) began to trace memory lane then I remembered!Key points…..The mini textbook that was based on all subjects,so compact it could be sneaked into the examination hall with relative ease.Secondary school student’s best friend.The very present help in time of need.The father of expo,chips,eegun et al(examination malpractice)

Before the prevalence of corruption in the Nigerian secondary education system,very few students saw questions before the exam was written but now the reverse is the case on a kentro level…lol.Before,it was JAMB that was “jamming” students but now students don ves.JAMB has been successfully “conquered” by students malpractice schemes it is nolonger reckoned with.I met a girl who scored 277 in JAMB wanted to study medicine but did not know characteristics of living things(MR NIGER D!) Tertiary institutions now set their own admission exams.Back to key points jare,before all this key point was there.Students en masse relied on it for survival in exams but funny enough I NEVER cheated back then.If I didn’t know the answer to a question I would not ask and not copy someone else’s work.Not that I was being religious and ish but it is just my default setting(too much of soccer video games…lol)baba God set me like that not to disturb anybody during exams but if someone asked for help I would assist.It was kinda weird and I didn’t stop till I got to UNILAG.Wen my G.P dey stagger and I saw a lil neck elongation,neck twisting,voltron formation with me in the centre(this always works,exschoolnerd tell them) ma G.P go fit survive….lol,no blame me.It’s not easy to study mathematics.

Ehn ehn remember I said this post is random sturvs?Lemme start rambling.I thank you guys for your comments on the last post plus I got a single line sentence that calmed my disturbing thoughts “Life is not fair but God is good!”

Hausa is officially the most widely spoken language in west Africa!

I discovered the true identity of a blogger and I wasn’t even stalking oo…Kai,what would happen if I start stalking….lol

I’ve not done my blog rounds and updated in days cos my connection is gone plus I can’t browse on ma fone too cos it feel,smashed and broke in 2halves(flip fones ain’t ma thingy) I feel so stranded.ARghhhh!!!

There’s this chic who is feeling me and trying to get my attention but I’ve got no love lost for girls under 18 plus I hate child abuse A LOT!

But theres this chic me I’m feeling…lol.Being seeing her around,ebony skinned,cute eyes,smashing dress sense,shaped like a coke bottle and the whole nine yards but she’s often in the company of this dude that is the combination of a house boy and Jonny Bravo.Big chest(you need to see this borad chest,d guy def gyms)walks gallantly,thing legs,fading clothes,razz accent,looks unattractive e.t.c.I don’t mean to sound conceited but I hope you get my drift.The connection between this two beats me.I’d have sworn the guy is not her boyfriend but attimes you girls can be funny.So me I dey fear to walk up to the girl make JB no go blow my jaw commot(lol) but the girl’s countenance tells me “catch me if u can!”Well me I already know what I’m gonna do in my mind…..

On Sunday I visited my aunt.So we watched a movie and her daughter(16yrs I think) was present.There was a sex scene,the actors kissed and smooched then the actress started grinding on the guy as he sat,MAD GRIND! I could see uneasiness written in the air then I looked at my aunt,she looked at her daughter but the daughter pretended not to notice her.I my ribs were cracking withing.Then the actress knelt before the dude,unzipped the dude and wanted to “speak to the mic” my aunt shouted at her daughter “will you change that dial!” I was ROTFLMAO in my mind,I couldn’t hold it no more I let out a crack in split seconds.Kai,its always funny and awkward when we watch sex scenes with our parents…..Omo,this rambling don dey long b dat o,atleast I don update...

36 comments:

Invisible said...

FIRST!!!
I wanna remember key points die. I think I used it once. I did a stint at a naija uni before I left and boy used to carry notebooks o.
Lol and JB rearranging your jaw.
LMAO at the movie. It's always awkward till today watching a movie with naija adults and a sex scene comes on. Before I used to forward it but now, abeg joo.
That was too funny, lol.

NaijaScorpio said...

Abeg, wellsbaba no dey disgrace me like this now. It's medulla oblongata not cerulyum oblongata. I thot Salim did something about the cheating in JAMB. Don't tell me they cracked that system too.

Abeg leave those jail baits alone oh. I have no idea how old u r, but if u r in ur 20's u don't want to be messing with a minor, although i no say dem no care about such things for naija. LOL @ ur aunty and her daughter. That was mad funny.

Mz. Dee said...

WHERE DID STING COME 4RM NA!!!!!! I WAS SPOSE TO BE 2ND!!!!!!!!

Mz. Dee said...

LMAO @ ur aunt!!! I'm older than that and u need to see my mum screamin for ordinary seducin!!!

Mhmm.. u dont do under 18.. *raises eyebrow*

theicequeen said...

so..rotflmao at the description of Johnyy bravo boyfie..e no easy to intimitate with razzness o! LOL

on a personal level, me i wan beef you o! you that harassed me into blogrollin you, i never see my blog for your blogroll o! in fact, i don vex..i no dey type again..

as if! LOL at your aunties kid..no mind small pikin dem wey like to feel big (er, i no follow enter under category of small pikin o! :P)..

and mehn, despite your advice..i no take eye see keypoints throughtout the exam o! stupid people refused to buy..mchuuu!

FineBoy Agbero said...

"Hausa is d most spoken language in West Africa".
How random!
LOL @ Johny Bravo! U sef show say u be man now. Grab d bull(read cow) by the horns(read teats)! Literally, if u pls!!!

But wait o: u no wan give d unda 18 chic eye, but u dey laugh when d 16yr old dey watch galala for TV? Sho?!

IDK said...

hausa??..rilli??
cerulyum oblongata..LOL
watchin sex scenes with younger kids or older ppl....UNCOMFORTABLE:P

mizchif said...

Dat key points never reach my hand one day! And like u, i was wired not do disturb in the exam hall, if i finish d ones i know, i sleep...... that was until uni, when i failed in 2nd sem yr 1, no be person teach me giraffe style, but i was still shy, i come fail one exam like dis, omo, i learn how to carry "chukuli" by force.

As for sex scens with aduls, weni was younger, even before the kissing starts, i don x 4rm parour, up til now sef, i go use style carry newspaper!

Rita said...

ROTFL...

Nooo... I cannot forget key points...I used to save snacks money to buy key points...it was a saver...pity out people of nowadays won't need key points becos either the questions come out before exam, or the invigilators give them the answers in the exam hall. May God help our educational system...

LushChic said...

hey,
lol bout the gal tripping for u!!!non-legal runz,lol
ur post was indeed random,lol
me sef don do my own musings too...
hw av u been???

Rayo said...

o.k weird but i still dont cheat in exams nd i just finished 3rd year law. newayz, i remember keypoints too, dnt think i eva used them sha.
abt ur aunt, i'm 19, i change d dial when i anticip8 such comin oh, cnt wait for mumsi 2 say it lai lai.

aloted said...

hehehe key points oooooo i wan use them die...kai! i had for all the subjects...lol

lol @ your aunty..but your cousin sef suppose borrow herself brain and change the channel before they starting action..hehehehe...

Buttercup said...

i also dont like askin for help durin exams..i no get liver at all, i always feel the invigilators' eyes r ALWAYS focused on me alone, im so paranoid!

lol @ the girl who didnt know the mr niger d characteristics..

u know, nowadays its not about the looks anymore or how 'chasis' a person is..so i've noticed..

hahahahaha! LOL @ ur aunt! it really is pretty awkward..now i dont change the channel, i just carry my phone n start textin an imaginary person so i seem preoccupied..lol..

oh n yea, God is good!!

chai, see long comment..

Femi B said...

damn this brings back old memories of me doing my GCE in some village outside ibadan. Seems everyone thought i was the only one that could speak English and begging me to help them during English. I even had one invigilator harass me to give answers to another student but i refused. Imagine he told me he would show me pepper. Silly me i told my dad and they sent olopa to that exam center the next day. I was so afraid...

miz-cynic said...

wellsbaba-y u no come 4 sbr.i 4 c d face behind al dse yarns.pls grab d bulls by horns o n go afta opeke chic jare.na uni me sef i start 2 dey develop xmen type eyesight wey i fit xray papers 1km away from me.my own bro wil watch in frnt of us n leav if his owners are there

badderchic said...

key ponts to Econs, govt, biology...thank God those days have passed.

lol. at least u update.

wellsbaba said...

lol...HAHAHA...even ur comments sef dey make me laff...make i do my blog rounds I'll b back2comment

wellsbaba said...

invisible...lol...lol...u used2forward,wat if u didnt' know it was comin?
sting..lol...no mind me I don4get jare,im thinkin y on earth did I write cerlyum mayb i meant cerutti...lol....
Mz.dee...i dont bliv u r older than 16 o cos ur are alwais fightin4 first..lol...ds is rily bad ur fytin4 2nd???...lol...I know we luv me....lol..kai,c ur mom screamin4common seducin but she doesnt know MZ.dee is already a ninja!...lol.....I dont do under 18 ooo,wat r we goin2b discussin?xcept shes exceptionally intelligent!
dicequeen...lol...so u dey find expo!...lol...
fineboyagbero...u hav rily showed ur sef2b agbero...make i grab bull by d horn?ur kin too lyk gra gra moves...lol...u want make dem comot my jaw!
idk make una free me wit ds cerutti oblongata...lol...lol...
mizchif,r I dey xpect say na u go expect die4dubbin as per d "mizchif" brand...lol...u go use style carry newspaper...lol...me i go call my kid bro come dey send am message!
RITA!!!!!!...HAHAHAHAHA...U USED2SAVE SNACK MONEY2BUY KEYPONTS!!! omo u rude oooo!
abby...i'm dope o..lol...twas rily random....
rayo...lol...lol...9ice u doin law,u still got2yrs left then..I guess....
ALOTED! u had keyponts4all subjects!!!omo some rily bad students they here oo...lol,rita talk sey she dey save food money4keypoints!he reach dat level?kilode??!...lol
b'cup..."u know, nowadays its not about the looks anymore or how 'chasis' a person is..so i've noticed.." u knw u rily r such a sweet person,ur mind is pure..mayb u shud date me o cos me im not fine...anywais,u rily no get liver o..lol..couldn't twist neck in exam hall...lol
femi B...HAH! efikooooo!!!....lol,na bcos u know am naw....lol
miz-cynic...lol...u don develop xmen sight..me sef oo,all i need naw reflection frm sunlight i go get d dubbin...lol...sori i no dey sbr,me sef i b one see all dis blog pple sef....
badderchic...lol...thankGod oo

Mz. Dee said...

a loud HISS!! for that ur reply!!!

Eh hen....i gave u an award o! Abi u no wan acknowledge am?

theicequeen said...

LOL...i just bin dey play o! wetin concern ostrich with plaiting of hair ehn? how i go beef you because of nonsense like that? and the threat sef, was meant as in, "i will not continue typing this comment"...

and LOL at that line in your reply to Mz.Dee....exceptionally intelligent like me abii? *bats eyelashes*

Parakeet said...

Why haven't they scrapped JAMB sef? What's the point?

Buttercup said...

hehehe oya lets date na..

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

hahaha, don wells!!!!

Please don't mess with girls nder the age of 18! You are a don for god's sake, shebi? lol!

And that your cousin get liver? Even now after i don born pikin finish, I no fit watch that kain film with my mama. =)

Unknown said...

ROTFLMAO
what does this mean?
hello, teenagers are exposed to sex, we have the media
and your aunt should communicate better
cos she'll just watch it at a friend's place
so the roaring does not achieve anything.

Unknown said...

hello!!!!(stress)

well me i did not cheat in exams all through cos i decided not to

Well just ask akon about under-age gals or al kelly
and they are stars o!

Anonymous said...

LMAO!!!!!!!

at ur aunt and her daughter...I knw the feeling mehn! chai!

some memory lanes stuvvins abi bros me? nuin do u...

Unknown said...

Feel you on the voltron-forming thing man.

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